Auditioning For Love
October 3, 2009 12:08 am Ms Aya's Papers
Mood - Nerdy
Initially, I wanted to use this free time to laze around and be accompanied by a book throughout this night that is sightless of people. <^v^>
To only listen to my own voice narrating and visualizing a fiction from an old novel, in my little head. <u_u>
However, I don’t know how long this free time is going to last and how soon can I blog to everyone so — with this intention, this is Ms Aya the sheep, writing to her dear readers. <^x^>lll (Laughs nervously)
I’ve mentioned in my Twitter that currently, I’m reading The Tale of Genji~
. ↓
(Yea, finally bought the book and am reading it!
)
This version that I’m reading is translated in English by Kencho Suematsu. The original author is Lady Murasaki Shikibu, master of writing in her period which dated back in the early years of 978 thereafter[?].
Well, if you want to know more about the book itself, please Google for the information because this entry is not a review. Besides, I’m still in the midst of reading it. <´•ω•`>
But so far in this book, I learned that love in the early days is rather similar to today’s version of love. Though we don’t response to one another in verses of a poem or song, the similarity lies in the way we prospect for love or a companion.
Your grandparents might have told you many a times that today’s love is no match to theirs in terms of commitment and loyalty. My mother has been nailing me about love in her time and that they are more sacred than the younger couples/weds.
“Mum, if that is true — why don’t I have a dad, then?”
Anyway, my point here is: The game of love has always been the same!
We can go all over this subject because it’s so broad but let’s stick to one small area for a start, that will be — Looking for THE ONE.
THE ONE~
The one and only special soulmate whom you want to spend your entire life with.
As we all know, it’s not easy to find THE ONE. The process is like finding a needle in a haystack. So what we do is we try out every being in order to find out if he/she is the one who creates an oath in your heart — The one whom gives you the butterflies in the stomach. (By the way, I know jacksquat about this butterfly effect. I’m using it in this example only because I discovered from books that people have such feelings..Well…My stomach feels weird only when I need to use the toilet)
With that, we prospect for our potential partners.Vice versa, we audition ourselves.
Wow…Just when you think you are treated specially by someone whom you adore much, you feel great and have confidence in fate to take its tow. However, you later discover this person to be giving the same ‘exclusive’ treatment to a few more, which you may refer them as ‘Rivals’.
It sucks. But if you truly want this person — you have to standout and prove yourself worthy. Hence, the auditioning becomes fierce. <`A´>
I was just thinking, in my shoes — how could a guy have a tray of ‘Potential girls’ at his disposal?
How could somebody like so many, in that area?
This reminds me when I was in high school, perky and rather loquacious I was. Sometimes, I would chit-chat with this particular group of girls of my age. They had crushes on our seniors; so did I. (Titters) With this common interest, we talked among ourselves. The funny thing I learned from them was — They could like so many guys in one shot and could divulge the same puppy love for each and every one of them. <OAO>
While I only had 1 crush, who happened to also be in their list of crushes. Knowing this, one girl had the cheek to tell me that her feelings for him grew more than the others. <OAO>
That day marks the first time I came to know that a person can love so many people in that intimate area. Not 2 prospects but up to 5 or more. These girls were just admiring from afar. However, in the adulthood — it exist alright.
Anyway, the olden days were no different. Emperors in China had so many mistresses. All in which struggled to win his heart, wanting the man only for themselves.
And then in The Tale of Genji, man — I feel like slapping this Prince for going to one woman after another, even though he has a wife. Loyalty, my finger!
But as I read the story, I realized that — This is a necessary step in this game of love. <T_T>
Without trying out with people, you’ll never know if that person is meant for you. In addition, you’ll also learn what are your needs in a partner and what’s missing in your life.
I heard (or was it read?) that even though the Emperors had many women, there was always only 1 they loved and held dearly to their hearts.
Sure, it sucks to have to go through this filter…But this is really how love is born, I guess.
(Laughs) I’m guessing some of you are raising your hands in the air, saying to the screen, “Now only you know about this!?” whereas foul-mouthed readers would say, “WTF!?” <OAO>{!!!]
For sheep’s opinion, it sucks to be one of the many contestants. The thought of a queue in front and behind me is a put-off. (Laughs)
Baa…Don’t ask what’s my strategy to jump queue. It’s a secret. (Laughs)
For now…
Those of you who has been in this position of being auditioned by your crush…How does it feel like?
I’m quite oblivious about all this as they have never happened to me. So, kindly tell me, how does it feel to be among his/her favorites but never getting any further than that?
And do you have a few try-out partners? <.__.>{?]
Note: This entry is blogged by an ordinary O type girl sheep, who is slow in love affairs and people’s well-being. Pardon her for her ignorance and stupidity, please. <x_x>
kioko on 
Ms Aya on 
Pixy on 
Can I say ” LOL ” instead?
XD
humm, I can like more than 1 person at the same time (in crush category) LOL….XD people always say I flower heart (cantonese) so I just cannot stick to one person, because no one really asked me out or anything.
Since primary school until now, I always like/had a crush on someone instead of the other way round. So I’m not sure what exactly is love.
Haha souda ne…..Sheep-chan knows who am I liking so far. And it was amazing that, “he” realized I like him, but he never says anything, treat me as normal classmate. Which is sweet of him compare to another guys I had a crush with, he told to his whole classmates..wtf, I’ll never forget about him. He’s a rubbish to me. X(
But then, I can’t really answer all the questions you gave sheep-chan. =/ ….”he” likes sexy girls, he’s a playboy..but he’s still single and he never says he likes me…o__o What a dilemma….dayo ne…
………*cries*
Ohyao~~ Lady sheep !
.
Well, I’m not a girl, so it might be different, but I can give you some clues from my experiences ! (even if they’re limited !)
=============
I already have two crushes at the same time, it happened two time, but I guess crushes are different from love, and from the act of sharing your life and your loyalty with someone… My first double-crush happened when I met the older sister of one of my former girlfriend, she left me, and then she introduced me to her older sister which was very similar to her, we had dates but it became disturbing for both of us, she was afraid to sadden her younger sister, and I felt guilty to love both of them, yet I don’t think I could love one without loving the other one.
My next dual-crush (Laugh) led me to a maze of darkness, I couldn’t make the difference between have a crush and “love and being loved by someone”, about what it means and what it doesn’t: I met a friend which I was chatting with on the web since almost 2 years long, we end up together but I was feeling very guilty because I felt like I was in love with an other girl, the closest I was, more guilty I felt about the situation, I couldn’t stay normal and she was mad at me for that.
.
That’s all about my experiences !
=============
You say that you can’t know if someone is made for you without trying, going this way, nobody could be good for an other.
When I look to couples, I notice that peoples which had the most partners are also the same that have the most difficulties to stay with someone, maybe the reason is because they don’t want to, but was it the case at first ? Will it be the same forever ? Mostly, they are crush-addicts.
Are the crushes relevant to love ? What’s a crush ?
Crushes are born when we discover something we like through others; most common is about appearance, when a sexy babe is joining my classroom by example ! But it could be words: someone I never noticed says things I love. It could be feelings: I just learned this long time friend was worried for me. Actions: She protected me from a bunch of bad guys (Laugh). Or situations: we had a very good time together, it was like a fairytail !
But all life long we discover a lot of things from people, even when we’re in couple, married… For some reason it’s getting more difficult for some people to get a crush toward someone which they are in couple with, they own it, so maybe there’s no matter learning more from it ?
What’s may be difficult to accept to people is that love is not a merchandise you can give and get back, and you can’t have someone which suits to you just because you want to. Nobody is yours, you can’t make people changes to suits your whishes.
=============
“Share your life and your loyalty with someone” sounds like an old fashioned term but it is mostly how our world define “love”.
But most people don’t want to share their life with someone they don’t really know, they’re scared about lies, and scared that things could get boring or they wouldn’t be loved as much as they want to.
Yet being with someone won’t learn you if this will be the case or not until you get to it. Is it an happy way of life to hope you got the right person and fear the day things are going wrong ?
I don’t think so, when I love someone, I should love him more than my fears and because I love her, I would be able bear the unbearable to help her because I love her, so I want the best for her.
.
We all have an ideal, but trying to find someone which fits to this ideal is tricky, because he’ll never fit perfectly, and he could make us very upset;
I decided to have one idealistic love: my dreams, and to let my life leads me to a more realist love, which I don’t have any waits from, and I’ll certainly share my dreams with her, but will never compare her to them.
=============
I never knew about the butterfly in the stomach, sounds very funny !
.
At school, I never really liked that much people, I got myself involved in a relationship I never asked for, it was very boring ! The girl said “can I hold your hand ?” I said “what for ?” she answered “because I like you”, so I replied “but we don’t even know each others”, so finally I end up with her, but that’s because I’m weird. Let’s say it was a try-out partner.
Had another try-out partner, it’s exhausting, unpleasant and boring, very very boring. I won’t make that mistake again !
=============
Well, for now, I’m leaving, sorry for this long comment… As ever !
.
Ba~bai~!
Ohayou Ane-san!
Sachi-chan’s finally back! I almost want to cry when I think of how seldom Sachi-chan has been showing her face here.[T_T] I just finished a blog post about why I was absent from the ENTIRE INTERNET for the last week or so(it was horrible! [TTATT]!). I hope Ane-san will forgive.
Actually, it’s funny that Sheep chose to write about this topic right now, because Sachi-chan is experiencing things having to do with this topic right now. Maybe I’ll blog about it soon.
Must go to eat now~! *hungry*
I’m not sure about this… I understand you can like more than one person at a time and that’s alright, but in my opinion, the word “love” is being used a bit too lightly here. If you feel the need to be selected by the person you like in some kind of audition thing then it isn’t really love what you’re looking for… if I were to love someone that love must be requited and returned, to love and to be loved, that’s the formula for everlasting relationships, I think.
School crushes rarely end up in actual marriage and I agree with you sheepy, you’ll never know if that girl or that guy is your perfect soul mate if you don’t have an established parameter to compare her/him with others, and the only way to get that parameter is to get more experiences, date more people, it’s like choosing the perfect jeans, the ones that fit you and accentuate your body line best, you have to try many on before you actually decide which ones you’re gonna buy, then and only then will you be able to “love” a certain brand or style.
Dear Dino-chan
You’re referring to the crush that you often speak of in your blog? (^-^) He’s a good person, ne? Never ridicule you. I know some guys (girls too) can be so mean to expose one’s crush and stuff.
(Laughs) Dino is blessed with lots of love and fondness! So you need to share your fondness with everyone!
..Playboy type? This is going to be hard…(Weeps) Dino, ganbarou!
—————————————————————————
Dear Circle
Well in your experience, crushes are different from love so I guess people can have more crushes at once and it’s an ok thing because there’s no commitment. (Personally, this doesn’t work for me)
But yea, it’s tough when you start falling in love with 1 person at the same time, still having a crush on another. (Laughs nervously)
Baa, Circle has made some good distinguish between crushes and love. Minna, please read.
…
Baa~ So being weird does have a charm after all. (Laughs)
—————————————————————————
Dear Sachi-chan
Welcome back and please do blog about this topic in your own blog. (Laughs) Your blog is in serious need of updates.
Coincidence? Haha, it’s funny sometimes when things happen concurrently. though at a distant.
—————————————————————————
Dear Sand (and Circle)
That’s right!
I was thinking, if one really wants somebody, he/she should just focus on that person rather than still look around. That’s if he/she is truly in love.
For instance, in The Tale of Genji, man — He proclaims his love to each woman he desires, yet not fully committing himself to one, and still seeks for others.
I think there are people who are like this. I mean — If you like a few people, then it’s fondness. Go ahead and compare them. But don’t make claims of love when you aren’t even sure who you want to settle with. Perhaps they use the word ‘Love’ in order to woe their desired people more effectively. (Love is a strong word)
…This is too much for sheep to comprehend. I fear my head my just explode if I think and try to convey this any further.
Guuuh……. (x_x)
Awwwwwww now finally talking about love?!
I cant really remember whether I have had that feelings of butterflies in my stomach towards a guy in real life before….I just know I squeal everytime I see my idols lol
Despite some really silly crushes in my past, I haven’t really had any experience of a relationship yet but I strongly believe one of the best things in life is to be able to find THE ONE. Nobody knows when but that magical encounter will just happen, out of nowhere, when the time comes~~
Girls flirt to get a guy but thats not a thimg I would do (not that I know anything about it as well) Though I know a friend of mine who can get any guy she wants, but she told me she has had 40 boyfriends before O_O And everytime she loses one she will get a new one within a few weeks, scary but true)
And I just want to add that until now, unfortunately, I have alwys had crushes on people instead of the other way around – and I know that all those crushes could not be developed into relationship (either he has a girlfriend already, or he’s too high up there etc etc) Not that I really mind though, coz I read somewhere that if u has a crush it’s someimes better to keep it secret ^^
oo i saw the anime
[...] so when Ms. Aya from PaperDiaries blogged about “Auditioning for Love” a few days ago, MK could relate to her post [...]
Sachi-chan, just blogged about her experience with “Auditioning for Love”.
Yes, unfortunately Sachi-chan has been quite busy. But I’m hoping to fill my blog back up with more frequent updates now.
Nya~~ !
Don’t “crush” your head against the walls Sheep-chan ! It doesn’t worth it. (Laughs)
.
About “The One” you talked about Kioko, I think many people imagine there is a “brother/sister soul” just because they’re tired to carry the weight of their lives alone and think that it would make their lives a lot easier and they made some idealistic illusions of their future partner, like the prince charming. I’m not saying there isn’t, just pointing that we should be very careful not to imagine how this very precious soul would be, it can be just next to you and you never noticed it out.
.
When I look to sheeps, I wonder if they need love: they are warm under their whool, they have a huge family, they don’t have to think, if it’s warm outside, someone cut their whool and on top of that, they have a very lovely sheperd. But our beloved sheep isn’t in the herd with her family, maybe that’s why she’s wondering about love ?
.
Jya ne~~ !