Hi-hi, everyone!
It has been a super and extremely long time since I last blogged! Like omg, fuck me right?! (LAUGHS)

I remember blogging on an almost daily basis and then as time flew by, it became weekly.. To monthly and eventually yearly.

I doubt I can connect the previous blog entry to the current as it was so long ago. However, how is life for everyone? Doing good? Finally living your dream life?

Life has been eventful on my side. I’ve been working in the hotel line for a year already. It’s the only job (besides helping my brother) i took on right after working in the International school. I never thought I would land in the hotel line but here I am, for a silly reason — here I am. u_u

I’m glad in a way because of all the challenges and chances of growth it has provided me and still giving me.

There were days I was struggling to get by and there were circumstances that really made me pushed myself to the limit. There was one time, I fell sick but still reported for duty. My mum, out of love, tried to stop me of course.

The very memorable question she asked me was, “Who are you trying to prove to? There is no one, so stop it.” When she told me this, I was furious but did not say a word. Lots of things brewed in my head of course.

Yes, I’m a sad loner with no one to prove my worth to. But have you forgotten that I have myself to prove to? And I’m the one who needs it the most or I will never be able to be at peace with myself. Why do you think I have to do something for someone’s sake? I know I sound selfish but people don’t sacrifice for me either hence I’m pretty much alone in this.

Besides, why do people tend to think of options with choices of this OR that instead of this AND that? You can push yourself AND for others. (And there is also a possibility of being an asshole who does not do anything for him/herself AND for others) (; ̄ェ ̄)

There were days I felt like i was on top of the world, there were moments when i felt guilty for making harsh decisions however, there was only a single time I cried like a child — because I felt abandoned and discarded by someone whom I didn’t realized at first — that I liked him a lot.

My love life never existed during my time of absence from this blog, sadly indeed. Lots of things happened, except for love.

I thought I found him but before anything else could have started, I didn’t only lose that little love but I lost a good friend.

It’s really sad for me because ever since I begun working outside, I’m being called by my first name. So it feels really lonely and that there is a huge wall that separates us. Fewer friends are left to call me by my familiar name and this worries me a lot.

Anyway, nothing is going to stop me from going further. Surely, there will be days when I crumble but there will be times when nothing can scare me either, if I allow myself to be strong.

Every day, I ask myself, “What am I trying to achieve? What are my principles and values?” We all have a road which we chose to follow however we do get distracted from time to time. If you are determined, that road and direction never fades away and although others do not see that invisible road, you see it clearly.

Anyway, my dog Auwlithe… Do you remember my cutie tub?

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He is still alive la. D:

Anyway.. This boy always helps me get back to my roots.. Because he never changes himself. At times I think I have changed into some monster. But because this guy still comes to me and gives me the same loving looks, as you may have read this somewhere (perhaps 9gag), “always be the person your dog thinks you are.”

Auwlithe is really my medicine. (Laughs)

Okie.. I should get going.. Before I leave, I hope to part with some … I won’t say funny story but I shall let you decide on that.

Long long time ago…

I parked my car somewhere and went down to get food.

The minute I got out from the restaurant, I saw a lorry was about to park behind my car. It was not one of those small ass lorries. It was the huge ass ones which you can smuggle prostitutes inside.

Anyway i quickly ran over and wave the driver because I really needed to get my car out and on the move. You know, when someone double parks you and you can’t get out so you have to honk like shit?. Yea, i didn’t want to do that.

So so the driver was keen eyed enough to see me, didn’t look happy but decided to parked opposite. It wasn’t easy to do a three point turn with that huge ass transformer. Ok then, I pressed my car keys button to open the door. Strangely, there was no beeping sound, that beep beep sound that you have unlocked the car. So I kept pressing and trying to open the door.

I was very wtf la but not so wtf when I saw some weird deco in the car with chinese wordings but even more wtf when I realized this wasn’t my car to begin with!

First thing, instinctively.. I looked around to ensure no one saw me but of course, I’m very lucky. The lorry driver was starring at me with that -__- face.

I hurriedly backed off the car and searched for my car to later find it further down the road, where even if the lorry driver parked his lorry, he wouldn’t be blocking me.

….

There you have it. A slice of my life. (Laughs nervously)

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Baa-bai~~! ( ̄▽ ̄)

I would never want to wake up from my sleep and dreams where I feel the most safest however because of responsibility, I just have to wake up to this cruel, realistic world.

Just kidding. I wake up because I’m hungry. ( ̄▽ ̄)

Life is a Huge Fun Fare

Posted by: Ms Ayain Ms Aya's Papers
24
Jan

I view life as a huge fun fare. A place, a world filled with a variety of games and infinite amusements. It is like we have a bag of tokens and coupons to try out rides and games.

Of course, nothing comes free. That’s why we obtain these tokens and coupons to exchange that chance of trying out a ride or a game.

But why o why, did I accumulate so much of tokens and yet I am not able to find a single thing that interests me enough to splash them all. Although I could try a little bit of each without strings attached, I really just want to get the things that I desire yet in such a vast world, I am not able to find it.

… What am I to do with my tokens? ;_;

Chicken as a Pet

Posted by: Ms Ayain Ms Aya's Papers
11
Jun

Mood: Hyper

Oisu, my grand readers~

This is Ms Aya who is excited to play RE: Revelations however since mum is still hogging the TV… Hello! (Waves)

Some time ago, I was in the car and along the way I saw some chickens somewhere in a small field.

It reminded me of a time when I was 7 ~ 9 years old, my dad phoned the house and delightedly announced that he has got a surprise for our family. He said it has to do with ‘pets’.

As a kid, I wanted a dog so of course the news got me riled up and I eagerly awaited my father’s return.

My father was never someone who would come home on time.. sometimes not at all however I trusted he would come home that evening.

True to his promise, my face lit up when I saw his Volvo parked outside our house. I hurried to see what pet he brought to then… be immediately robbed of my happiness.

It was a pair of chickens; a black cock and a brown hen.

For that whole time my mind was whining, “Why chickens!? Why not a puppy!?”

What and how are we to keep these creatures!?

My mother was furious because she thinks such creatures are troublesome and aren’t exactly pet material but my father insisted that he got them from a temple and they bring good luck.

In any case, we reluctantly kept those chickens with us and I tried to treat them like any other pet. You know.. Patting their heads, talking to them and showing some form of affections.

However I felt whatever I did could not reach them as they didn’t seem to understand. They aren’t like dogs in which when you call their names, they’d come over. We couldn’t even think of a name for the chickens.

As days went by, my mother got sick of cleaning after their mess and excrement that she decided to release and let them wander to their disappearance.

I remembered she placed them in a big black plastic bag at our back alley, left untied of course.

Although I did not fancy the chickens because my affections were not returned, I thought I should sneak out and pat them one last time as a parting gift.

When I got out, the black guy was missing and the hen was left.

I noticed she was behaving rather unusually as she had always been active. Instead, she was curled up in the bag and seemed rather scared.

I patted her and for a moment, felt sad that she is being abandoned in this manner.

I went in and later, thought of checking on her again and even wanted to keep her as a pet however by then she was missing.

I never knew what happened and where the pair wandered off. Though one of the neighbor girl kept apologizing to me saying that her father wanted to catch our chickens and cook them.. I’m not sure if that really happened. x_x

The dumb thing we discovered later was that my father actually received those pair of chickens as his wedding gift with his bloody 3rd wife. x_x

… Shitty huh?

Anyway, that’s that.

As a child, we all like to have pets, don’t you think? Commonly we start out with fishes, terrapins and dogs.

What pet did you want as a kid? You tell me.

Baa~ My mum got off the TV so it’s gaming time~

But before I leave this blog to collect virtual dust again…

On a totally unrelated note… ↓

Today I got to finally meet Krayle-chan~

We got to know each other via blogging and for all this time, we kept in touch from time to time through social medias.

At the moment, she’s running for ambassador at the J-Runway store. I think Singaporeans will know about this stuff.

So yea, do check her out here. ^^

… My PS3 is calling.

Toodles~ :D