Mood - Somewhat happy
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Blogging to you right now is the sheepish Ms.Aya who is high in spirits after recovering from her fever~♪! <^ω^>v
Though sheep is still coughing— What the heck. I’m typing, not speaking — right? (Laughs)
I see that everybody has already made an entry to welcome Year 2009!
Sheep is so left behind! <;__;>
Well.. On the faithful night before New Year’s eve, sheep was happily browsing through some nice pictures. Everything was pleasing to the eyes until — ↓
I caught Broly kissing Son Goku. <OAO>!!!
Shortly after that, my cheeks burned and immediately retire for the day. When morning came, I started coughing and made my way to Auwlithe. I told him about this picture and suddenly, he fell sick too. <_ _>lll * Yaoi is a decease indeed!
[ . . . ]
Ok ok ok… I’m just fooling you. (Laughs) There’s no way I’d go down over such a trivial issue. As much as I like Broly’s character, I’m a realistic person. Furthermore, Broly loves to die in all 3 of his movies. (I feel sad for him though. Everybody is controlling him and not giving him a chance to expand his power and worth) <∏A∏>
However, about Auwlithe falling sick on the same time as sheep.. That’s TRUE. (Laughs) So you can imagine the both of us sitting down side by side with a thermometer hanging from our mouths.. <´•ω•`>
Right… Enough about that. Now.. ↓
How shall I start my first entry for this year? <^-^>lll
There wasn’t anything spectacular about my celebration because I was sick and basically, I worsen my cough by drinking more cold drinks. (Laughs nervously)
Despite the irritating cough and block nose, let’s just say — I take this short period of falling sick a blessing in disguise because it has helped me lose 3kg in the process.
Prior to this I was about to exceed 45kg. Those of you who know me in person might consider this as a good thing for me since I’m sort of under weight.
But truth to speak, I want to be under weight for the rest of my life regardless of whether it’s not healthy for me or people will make fun of me.
Some of you may be surprise with what I’m saying right now because I know — I used to crave putting on some weight around my waist. I’d gauge myself with all the food I have at home and totally wipe out other people’s food as well.
Indeed, I USED to feel ashamed of my weight and body. I was so scrawny and whenever my name was mentioned, everyone would identify me as the ‘Scrawny girl’ or that ‘skinny little girl.’
I find it very annoying whenever they talked about my body because they didn’t compliment me, in lieu they started teasing me as if it’s a sin to be thin. When the other kids my age teased me, I couldn’t give much a shit because they were young, aggressive and the bottom line is — they were down right stupid. But when I get criticism from adults, man — some of them can be very nasty while some are very kind and concern. <`A´>/
I flipped back one of my old journals and manage to dredge up this little memory. ↓
(Laughs) I remember… I went to the sundry shop to buy milk and then the uncle saw me and said, “Oh my goodness! You’re so thin! Here, you should eat more bread!” He handed me a loaf of bread while I was still a bit dumb founded. <^▽^>lll
Anyway… More reasons on why I hated being thin.. <T_T>
I used to be darn scared of holding umbrellas that were bigger than me because once, I was blown away from a gust of wind and I mean it literally. My feet were off the ground, no joke! <O[]O>!!!
And then there was one time I went to the theme park with Mira and her friends. We both sat a ride called Magic Carpet. You sit on a flat surface and then it goes round and round. The scariest part about this ride is that once it reaches the top, it stays there for awhile and then just when you let your guard down, it suddenly drops! \<OAO>/
If that wasn’t terrifying enough for me, I felt my boney ass leaving the seat as well as both my feet! I was so thin that I could practically slip myself out of the seat belt and bar holder. Thanks to Mira, she suddenly got so excited and then stepped on my feet REAL hard until the end of the ride. <x_x>lll
At that time, I didn’t know whether to scream at her for hurting my feet or thank her for preventing sheep from jetting off to the sky. <_ _>lll
Apart from constantly getting blown away by the wind, listening to hurtful comments — I also had problems fitting into clothes. I could only wear size 0 and knowing our Malaysian sizes, we rarely have that size. A lot of people made fun of me telling me, a 15 year old girl, to wear clothes from KIKO. (Children’s clothes)
O~oh well… The past is the past. Right now — I accept myself the way I am. Even though I am not as thin as before and not as chunky as what guys say they love their girls to be, I’m pretty damn sure that I want to stay under weight.
I have many reasons for wanting to remain underweight but I’m just going to sum it up to 1 reason: I do not want to submit myself to anyone.
The major heartache I get from all these are from the guys. I never really cared what other girls said about me because I knew they’ll grow fat and totally out of shape. Moreover, nothing hurts more than what the opposite gender says about you. (If you’re a lesbian or gay, then ignore this fact)
I received many unpleasant words from guys. Perhaps at that time, hip hop and pop culture was the IN trend therefore — boobies and buns of steel were on everyone’s list of ‘must have.’
Some times I wonder whether they mean what they say. Words like, “I prefer girls without make-up”, “girls who have some meat on them” and all that.
I won’t be surprise if I see a guy who insist he likes girls without make-up but ends out dating a plastic doll who has her face caked with powder. Or maybe a guy who says he likes girls who are slightly fat but takes a skinny model by her waist.
This puzzles me a lot. <.__.>{?]
Anyway, as I was saying — I don’t want to give myself in for other people because frankly, I don’t have to.
The extra kg that I put on was a blessing for me at first but I felt uncomfortable because I couldn’t fit in my old favorite clothes. The true horror was that I felt I look like every other stereo type of girls on the street — Those kind of girls who made fun of me (as well as teasing girls who are fatter than them).
I don’t want to be in their shoes and body! <`A´>/ No shit in hell will I ever want to be anywhere near their kind of species! Just when they think skinny girls are ugly, I think of them as despicable beasts.
That said, keeping myself underweight is my personal goal until a man who truly loves me can tell me to stop abusing myself. <^▽^>
Otherwise, I’ll just keep this up! (Laughs happily)
[ . . . ]
Phew~ Sorry for the wind bag of diarrhea. I got too carried away. (Laughs nervously)
So here’s a food for thought, everyone:
- Does a girl/guy’s weight affects your cricteria in choosing friends and a life partner?
- Have you been intimidated because fo your size? If so, how did you overcome it?
- What do you think of people who demeans people according to their looks and body structure?
- Honestly, what would you do if you see someone being a victim due to his/her appearance?
Last but not least…
Is sheep fat? <^-^>v
!! Laughs !!
Time for sheep to leave now~☆
Before I go… ↓
Apple Cider Vinegar
Natural Glenx Tea
Those of you who are on the quest to loosing weight… I’m currently consuming these 2 drinks.
Apple Cider Vinegar is quite effective because once you drink at least 3 -4 sips, you can feel your stomach churning in heat and perhaps you’ll be visiting the toilet very often.
Clenx Tea is my favorite. The taste is very mild (Apple Cider is very sour!) and it really purges out the toxic waste that has been accumulating in your bowels. I drank it once and in 2 days, I lost 4kg!
I’d say — drink these only when you’re planning to be home all day long. Don’t drink this and then set of for work. You’ll suffer, I tell you.
Another thing about Clenx Tea… You might experience some pain in your stomach. <x_x>
Baa… These can be found in WATSONS, Guardian.. any pharmacies I suppose.
With that said — Cheers to detoxing your bowels and …
THIN FOR THE WIN! <^v^>/
* I’m not into yaoi, just so you know!
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