Archive for December 31st, 2017

Winning in Life

Posted by: Ms Ayain Diary of Ashes, Ms Aya's Papers

“Winning in Life”

Well contrary to the subject, I can’t say that I’m winning however after this post, I’m gonna instill into my mantra, believing that I am indeed winning — in some areas.

Before I can boldly declare so or begin my self-denial, I’m gonna spill my loser moments and get them out in order to adopt this winning mentality.

Today is the last day of 2017 and to sum up my side, life has been prettily fucked. Not with flowers and tutus but life was nice enough to make sure I had a piece of shit now and then.

As I gained some positive moments, I lost more and almost too quickly — similar to how you win with gambling at first and then losing a bigger chunk right after a victory. Short lived is the keyword.
I thought I found the right people but was quickly left alone with doubts as usual. Auwlithe passed away which caused the biggest disturbance in my life.

To be fair, this isn’t a horrible situation as compared to my younger days; specifically my teen years that were filled with unwanted adventures. Nevertheless, they make good stories and gave me the characteristic I am today.

With that in mind, I’m always grateful for the present over the past I had therefore looking forward in anticipation for the future.

Do you play visual novel games like Heart no Kuni no Alice or Hakuoki? Otherwise Until Dawn? The system of the games are story based and you are given options to choose answers and decisions which ultimately determines the progress and ending of a story. Different combination of answers could lead the story to different routes. I kind of view life in this way whereby choices will lead you here and there. It’s a common thought, of course.

And playing these games, I had the tendency to make wrong decisions which led to bad endings and I could only get good endings by referring to guides online.

Me being me, of course I made wrong decisions ergo I lost every opportunity presented to me. And in reality, there is no fucking walkthrough with spreadsheet of cheats and answers.

Thinking back, if only I had chose to stay in one place a little longer, I could have met somebody. If only I stopped and asked him, everything could have been different.

Regrets? Some yes, mostly no. Just worried that I will run out of turns and times to get things right.

Well, gotta be optimistic hereon. I don’t know how things are faring for you but hopefully you are winning at some aspect of your life. Or getting to it.

Oh well, 2018 is happening soon so cheers!