Greetings, people of all kinds.
This marks my first entry for the year. As much as I wish to blog something positive, to my dismay, I have a rather grim news to share instead.
Right now I am at the airport making my way back and I heard that a fellow colleague, and friend had passed away this morning, in a road accident. I’m a little devastated at the moment and the news haven’t fully digest enough to react. I’m outstation at the moment, I have no Facebook and am slowly withdrawing from Instagram. I learn about the news through my fellow colleague and apart from that, I have nothing for my eyes to see for its proof of reality.
I guess tomorrow I’ll only be able to live with the fact that he is gone and beyond reach.
He is a very young boy and pretty happy-go-lucky, absolutely friendly and harmless. I won’t declare that we are extremely close and significant to one another however I feel sad upon thinking that he has left us in such a way. Though he had resigned from our workplace, he still kept in touch with us from time to time and that led me to think we’ll always have another time to hang out and talk again.
The last time I met him was perhaps 3 weeks back. The last time messaged; some time last week.
So indeed, I’m shocked to realize that I won’t be getting random messages nor will I be sending stupid hellos and “when are you coming to see us” messages to him.
Death isn’t something that occurs much to me. The only time I experienced a funeral ceremony was my late aunt; elder sister to my mother. I was 8 ~ 10 years old. My memory on the details is fuzzy however adequate to know how dreadful and impactful it was.
I also had a friend and former school mate who passed away due to cancer some time 2 years ago. We were not incredibly close but we did exchange words once in a blue moon. The last time she wrote to me was 2 years ago, when I posted on Facebook that I received a bouquet of flowers for the first time. Another friend joked that I could have sent it to myself and my late friend wrote saying that was mean and congrats on the flowers.
That was the last sentence I got from her to later learned that she passed away.
I never knew she was suffering from cancer. She was so lowkey about it and I noticed she was falling out of the radar but I just thought she had things going on in her life that she didn’t need Facebook to tell anyone about how eventful her life was. But sadly it was a reversal.
I did not attend her ceremony. I just read the news all over Facebook and tracked back her posts in disbelief.
Did I cry? Will I cry? I’m not sure how I’ll react. Mentally, I tell myself that after a person walks out of my life and scarcely sees me, he or she will be as good as gone. I have it in my mind that if I don’t see people for a long time, they are just somewhere continuing their lives and perhaps I will hear or read about them without actually seeing them. However to accept that when someone passes on and there will never be a chance to reach out to this person nor learn about the journey of their lives, it’s a depressing thought and everything about them becomes past tense.
That boy is so young. We talked about what he would like to do and full of “next times”. Very upsetting. I can only imagine his family and friends must be even more upset for his loss.
For now, this is all I have to blog.
My apologies, no corny jokes and moments to throw in now for obvious reasons.. hahaha