Archive for July 8th, 2012

A Thought on Everything

Posted by: Ms Ayain Ms Aya's Papers

Mood: Whimsy


I found myself in a red apron doing chores in a house that did not belong to me. <´•ω•`>

As I was sweeping the crumbs off the table with a small duster, I thought to myself, “What the fuck am I doing here?” 

Slowly I remembered receiving a call the day before from someone… A friend of my mother, about needing help in baking pineapple tarts.

I’m not into bakery and anything that keeps me in the kitchen but somehow, I agreed without much thoughts and then ended up in the said place.

So anyway, I was dressed as how I usually dress for work; a singlet, a cardigan and a long skirt. Although the lady insisted I should wear their uniform in order not to dirty my clothes, an apron would do. After all, one must feel sexy when working, right? (Laughs)

.. Aprons are sexy~!.. Nuff said. <^w^>/

Then the lady led me to the kitchen, introduced me to some of the staffs who were mostly young girls.

A brief introduction was made, they learned my name fast while I was slow in grasping their names at once.

I was then assigned to the dining hall, to brush off the crumbs and sweep the floor.

Wondering what brought me here and pondering about any thoughts that came by.

First thing that struck me was there were all girls in this retreat house.

I understand it is a place for recollections, retreat and wholesome activities so I don’t expect a group of boys in apron serving the residents. Well.. unless Altar boys.

The place screams of sisterhood; something which I detest the most. 

The lady had once asked me to join them long ago to which I declined because I think I will die there. (Laughs)

For one, I’m not into hospitality. Secondly, I’m not a holy-holy person. And the other, I cannot live with all girls! 

Girls are extremely emotional beings and overly verbal, which I cannot relate and tolerate much. I can get along with girls but from time to time only.

Then I moved to help one of the staff wipe the cutlery.

We had a typical get-to-know-you chit-chat; where do you come from, what are you working as etc. Very idle and repetitive. I wanted to ask what she thinks if spoons can be used as a murder weapon but held back the tongue knowing it will just cause awkwardness. (Laughs)

What follows next was making the pineapple tarts with the lady.

↑ The lumpy and ugly ones are done by yours truly. <≥ω≤>

Here, another idle chit-chat took place. 

And because this is a place of Christ, our topic were bounded to God and prayers.

She said they have a recollection session; a session when people gather to listen to spiritual talks and get in tune with prayers. A session that she wants me to consider joining.

I think you all know that I am not much a spiritual person despite being a Catholic. I dread going for masses and don’t pray frequently.

The lady then asked about my job and how I am coping.

I told a little about it but was thinking the most about it.

Currently I am going through a transition in my work place and there are uncertainties dwelling within me.

There is a lot of happiness at work. I enjoy the company of the children and even though there are negative influences in the air, I am doing my best to not only see the light in everything, but to create as well.

However, I am afraid my principles and morals may changed without my realization.

“What if I become arrogant and proud?

What if I become dishonest and deceiving?

What if I become greedy and stingy?

How am I to know if I changed for the worse?”


Those were my worries. 

Until I was brought into this house to help out.

I found my answers and the treatment I needed most: Humility and optimism.

Cleaning the tables, the floor and the cutlery has reminded me to always be humble.

Rolling the pineapple tart was at first difficult and I couldn’t get passed the quality control. The lady was strict and stressing to me on how to do it right. I was quite irritated at first because I hate being instructed but later let it go and did my best to later, begun to improve.

So I learned to submit and stay optimist when being pressured by others.

The time spent at the retreat was very short, not even half a day.

However in that given time, so many questions were answered and uncertainties were cleared.

I feel enlightened. <^__^>/

Also I realized that I have not been getting into a proper conversation with people for a very long time. Sure at work, I converse with people but usually not a quality talk because of interruptions and there are things we can’t freely express in a school. (You do know how bad my mouth is, don’t you? Hahahaha.)

Despite so, at the very least I could converse with myself and now — blog them out into words to prove they exist and are real.

(Laughs) Ok, before this blog post become too whimsical for one’s comprehension, I shall end it for now~

This is Ms Aya your sheep, who blogs and .. has a lovely son by the name of Auwlithe~ <´•ω•`> ↓


PS: About sweeping floors.. Are you good at it? Because I totally suck at it! The dust just seems to escape each time I try to sweep them into the dustpan! During school days, I was always assigned to sweep the classrooms and man, it was a pain! And our brooms and dustpans were also damaged and unusable! So I usually run away when it’s time to sweep or do something else in compensation. <^-^>lll

What is your favorite class duty? Wipe the black/white board (super easy task), throw rubbish or arrange the tables? <^x^>/ And what do you hate doing the most?