Mood - Unknown

Mood - Unknown

This question has been stuck to my head for some time now. ↓

“What happens when we stop needing? Do we still desire?”

As in, when all needs are fulfilled, is there anything else we want?

In relationship wise, there will be needs and wants. I have no idea how many people think that needs are most important of all in a relationship or desire tops it all. Some may say they both come equally.

I’m sure you’ve heard of lyrics that goes along the lines of “I need you like water —” and whatever there is to synthesize with. Then there are those who sing, “I want you, I want you tonight~~~~~♥!”

Though I’ve never been delivered of such loving words but through observation, I managed to fathom out which word is more emotionally driven or shall I say, the word that turns a person on. Is it “I need you” or “I want you”?

Well I’d say — desire wins a person’s heart, not needs.

My reason is — Needs can be fulfilled in many ways. If you are lonely, you can have friends to accompany you. If you are bored, you can play video games. Or you’re upset, perhaps a good movie is enough to crack you up. Either way, you can bounce back to happiness on your own if you are independent.

What I’m trying to say is — needs can be replaced.

“No, I really need my boyfriend. He is the only one who can make me happy!” I hear you retorting. True. He is of importance. You totally pivot on him like an oxygen tank. Even if you both argued and on the verge to break up, you still go back to him because you need him. No one else can take you out of the darkness. Some people are in constant need of a companion that it doesn’t matter who the person is as long as they don’t feel alone.

Do you really want to live like this? Always in need? How about always being needed but not wanted?

I can’t possibly answer for others. Personally, I dislike it when people say they need me. I’d always feel that once I’m done doing them a favor, they’d leave me. And all I can do is hope that they will want to stay with me a little longer, not by force of a need.

Many a times I feel like a valuable asset to others. But that’s just about it; an asset, a tool. And once they figure out other means to fill that need without me, I don’t exist and they stop coming to me because I’m not wanted to begin with.

With that, I look in disgust whenever a person claims he/she needs me. It’s as if they have nobody else and they are forced to seek me instead. I’m pretty much the last person to ever resort to because I’m very selfish and cold. I don’t like to take care and be responsible for other people’s feelings.

Anyway, let’s take the rich people as an example. They have everything, don’t they? Wealth, good looks, splendid life, fame, friends — everything YET they still feel somewhat lonesome.

What do you think they need?

They can have top notch buddies to play around with but is that what they want? Another day with people to just get by with? No, this is the point whereby their desires hunger.

There’s a saying for the rich people, “I can have anything in the world, but I only want you” or something like that.

This pretty much breaks the boundaries of needs. From something so ordinary to extremely precious.

It’s like, “I already have everything I need. Now the question is — Do I still want you?” kind of thing.

Just ask yourself how many times you need something/someone although you don’t want to and —  how many times you want something/someone despite that you don’t actually need?

For instance, you need to be nice to your ex-boyfriend because he is in the same circle of friends. You don’t want to but you don’t want to impose others, therefore you just force yourself to be good.

Love is ruled emotionally, when we fall in love — we ignore logic and warnings. We don’t care, we just want him/her.

I’m not trying to teach people how love works. Like I’ve said, it’s just my thoughts and I want to express it openly.

All I know is — Let me first make a confession: I’m a cruel user. I do make use of people and when I’m done, I’d ditch them. I don’t fancy being needed nor in need of others. However, I always hope that people can win my heart so that we can continue being friends and not just tools for one another.

I don’t want to pivot on a person. I don’t want to hold hands because I need to in order to keep the love going. I want to be able to desire being with that special person. I want him to know that I can go through tough times on my own and that I can seek comfort else where or from others –but– I don’t want them. I choose you. And please feel honored and not take this as a responsibility, my love. Because I’m with you based on my own will — not by strings attached.


The Distorted Sheep

Additional notes: Uh — but when it comes to marketing, ‘needs’ are more important than ‘wants’. When a person is in a buying mode, the mindset focuses on how practical and useful the item is. Unless you can somehow persuade the buyer to purchase your items. Otherwise, just attack their needs in that department! (Laughs)

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 31st, 2009 at 7:24 pm and is filed under Ms Aya's Papers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 comments so far

1.  Sachi-chan
January 1st, 2010 at 11:31 pm

Hora, Ane-san! Long time no see, huh?

Very deep and interesting post. I’ve never thought of the whole “I need you” vs. “I want you” thingy that way before.

Sachi-chan personally tries to avoid needing people because people usually disappoint. That’s why I lean on God. He doesn’t disappoint me.

2.  Ms Aya
January 3rd, 2010 at 9:06 pm

Ooh~ Someone changed her avatar~ (Laughs)
You are schooling so I think you shouldn’t weigh much thoughts about these things — yet. But yes, it’s good that you allow yourself to lean on God, which is something he loves most — for his creation to love and lean on him.

People can be of great disappointment..How sad..

3.  kioko
January 3rd, 2010 at 10:25 pm

Woah this is one intense post~~
Personally I dont mind being alone but if I got upset, the first thing I want is to talk to my close friends and I will do the same if they want to rant about something. I think I both need them and want them because they’re the only friends I can really trust and understand me ^^

Anyway the “I want you” VS “I need you” thing, as a girl of course I prefered “I want you”, it’s a stronger expression right? And that reminds me of this one kpop song I am addicted to recently, the chorus is just sweet~ Watch this and tells me what u think~

4.  yew
January 4th, 2010 at 12:34 am

wow. this is one profound post you have here. Honestly, after all this while reading your blog, this post probably struck me hardest.

It’s like I’ve never really thought about the thin line of connection between “i want” or “i need”

This post really got me thinking, and I sorta have almost the same thoughts as you. Although some parts may differ. But I’d say all in all, needs can just replaced, as what you said. On the other hand, want is totally a different thing ‘cos it’s what you really can’t have without. That specific “want”.

Thanks for the post. ~ :D

5.  Ms Aya
January 6th, 2010 at 11:07 pm

Dear kioko
“Even if I looked at other girls, you’re the only one I hope for” — Favorite line in that song.
The song is about being unable to exist without the other person, right? Well, it’s normal because people believe that your partner is your other half so without him/her, you don’t feel complete.
As for the music, I think I have to listen to a few more times to grasp the melody.. (T_T) Sheep not used to Korean songs yet.

Dear Yew
Thanks for reading my blog. (^-^)v
Well, I’m sure a person will start thinking more about this once he/she is in a relationship. My thoughts can be wrong because I’m perceiving it as an observer or what I assume could be for me.

Who knows? I might be wrong, right? A thought is one thing but a feeling can change everything. So maybe one day someone out there will change my thoughts through feelings. (Laughs)

Baa~ I see that you are quite an otaku. Nice drawings. Keep it up~

6.  kioko
January 9th, 2010 at 6:48 pm

(nods nods)
I really love the chorus perhaps we all just want a guy to tell us something like that one day^-^
Ohh I am pretty much into kpop, I really enjoy those fast dace rhythm hehe! The only thing I am not too used to is the way Koreans speak, the first time I heard it I dont like it lol

One Trackback/Ping

  1. PaperDiaries » Blog Archive » What Happens When We Stop Needing … Desires    Dec 31 2009 / 9pm:

    [...] more: PaperDiaries » Blog Archive » What Happens When We Stop Needing … By admin | category: resort desire | tags: comfort-else, from-others, much-the-last, [...]


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