Mood - Bored

16th December 2K8, Tuesday – Dinner time.

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(Yawn) Baa~ <u_u>

This is Ms.Aya who is feeling rather bored and perhaps one of the few people who hasn’t kicked in the Christmas spirit~!

But since Christmas is currently the hot topic, I thought of blogging about it. However — It never come across my mind to list down the things that I want for Christmas.

For a very simple reason — Who cares about what I want, right? <`A´>/

This entry marks the 100th post in this blog therefore, this entry should be worth while and shan’t be all that selfish.

Therefore, here’s a scenario that we can all put our heads together — ☆!

For this year’s Christmas, imagine…

Our once upon a time beloved jolly fat man in red, Santa Clause is about to get a burn notice for the misdeeds he has committed before and after Christmas. ↓

He has been threatening the children to behave good or else they won’t get their hands on any of his cheap toys.

But on the other hand, has Santa been good himself to deserve being great role model to the children around the world? <.___.>{?]

I don’t think so. Because while I was googling for pictures of Santa (with the intention of writing some good things about this pop), I came across these. ↓

Apparently, he leaves nasty messages on people’s walls. What will the children think when they see the F word written on their wall and how do you think the parents can answer them?

“Santa dropped by last night and left us this message?” This is bad for his reputation indeed. He might as well write there, “Tickle-Me-Elmo is all your get, loser!”

But the next proof is more horrifying. ↓

It seems Santa is having a serious drinking symptom till he passes out obscenely in the back alleys. What do you think alcoholic people do when they lose their sober?

Answer: They beat up children and housewives.

With that — Do you want this very man who has a staunched smell of alcohol coming down your chimney?

Next is even worse.. ↓

The picture shown above pretty much explains his other hobbies other than kidnapping elves and rein deers for his ambitions. Imagine if you have your children seated on his laps… Gosh! I’m thinking too much! <≥◊≤>/ (Laughs)

Before I state my proposal, let’s be fair to Santa Clause after all he has done for us in the past years. Let’s get to the pros and cons of Santa Clause. <^-^>/~♫!

Pros

• Been around for years and everyone knows him. Even unborn children knows Santa Clause.
• Children still believe in the existence of Santa Clause.
• Has a fatherly figure.
• Good reason to threaten your kids to behave themselves throughout the year.

Cons

• Reputation gradually dies out throughout time and era.
• Easily mistaken as a pedophile.
• Possibly an animal and elf abuser judging by the way he whips his troop of rein deers and enslaving elves.
• Becoming a joke. Anyone can pose as Santa Clause.
• Other than toys, he can’t give you anything else nor present you a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Now that I’ve provided some pointers about Santa, I’d like to move on to my proposal — which is to elect a new Santa Clause!

Yep! I think there are better candidates out there that can make a better Santa Clause this year. I’ve narrowed down to 2 eligible Santa Clauses so — Let’s not wait, first up~ ↓

Shen Long from Dragon Ball

Shen Long is a magical dragon that can grant 1 wish a year. It can be summon after gathering 7 dragon balls and if you think Shen Long is scary, let me tell you — It is not half as scary as what Santa can to do your kids (and wife) at night!

Shen Long is a well spoken creature with extra ordinary abilities to grant wishes per year. If we somehow get our hands on the Planet Namek’s dragon balls, we can have 3 wishes fulfilled in a year! Let’s check the pros and cons of Shen Long!

Pros

• Offers more than Toy R’us goods. This baby can even bring your love ones to life provided they did not face death by natural causes.
• Can be used to resolve world crisis and achieve world peace by wishing that all evil will banish from the surface of Earth.
• Although we are permitted to have only 3 wishes, we can strategically come up with a wish that will kill 2 birds with one stone. (Eg: 1st wish — Grant all the toys that the children wants but do not give them dangerous toys. 2nd wish — Restore the damage that is done on this planet. 3rd wish — Bless all the poor families with health and wealth.. etc)
• Children are fascinated by mystical creatures!

Cons

• Very powerful and suppose it lands on the hands of evil, we’re all doom!
• Visitors from outer space might pay a visit to Earth and destroy us all! ↓

Freaks like Frieza and his henchmen!

Next candidate.. ↓

Doraemon

Our lovable Japanese character. With Doraemon’s mighty pocket that is fiiled with magic and advance technology equipment, I can only imagine how much benefit we’ll get from his goodies such as the ‘door to anywhere’ and ‘flying cane’.

Doraemon makes a fun and loving Santa for all!

Pros

• Has a clean reputation among the children and adults.
• Harmless and non-violent.
• Children and adults adore Doraemon.
• Has useful equipments from the future.
• Has patience and endurance with children (since he can tolerate Nobita’s stupidity and demanding attitude..)
• No worries about communicating with Doraemon. He has this snack that can enable one to understand foreign languages no matter which country or planet you’re from.
• Is appointed as Japan’s 1st Anime Ambassodor hence reputable.
• Instead of milk and cookies, just give him Dorayaki and he’ll be more than willing to oblige you! ↓

Cons

• Doraemon is terrified of rats. Suppose your house is infested with rats, don’t invite Doraemon over because he’ll nuclear the crumbs out of your house and neighborhood.
• He might emerge out of your bath tub while you’re bathing instead of coming down the chimney.
• His head is too big to fit through the chimney.
• A slight damage to his system might trigger him to be violent. Plus, spare parts can only be found in the future.

Now as for the… ↓

Under Qualified Nominees

George Bush – He’s more concern about terrorism and probably hiring him as Santa Clause will entitle him to sending bomb parcels to terrorist countries. (Though I’m not against it however–) In this case, we’re thinking about children.

Besides, George W.Bush shares some similarities with Santa Clause. That is — the drunken part. You can read more about George W.Bush dirty secrets here.

On a side note, even Tic-Tac beats George Bush in campaigning for President.

Ronald Mcdonalds – For a moment, it sounded like a good idea to add Ronald Mcdonalds into the list of nominees since his franchise is recognized world wide (except for terrorist countries) but in a split second, my senses hit me back.

We don’t want our children to welcome the new year with bulging tummies, do we?

Plus, what will happen to our ladies? ↓

Damn right, we don’t want this to happen. !! Screams !! <OAO>!!!

OR..

Are you kind enough to give the white beard man another chance?

Before you decide, remember:

Each time you ask for a present from Santa, an elf dies gruesomely.

(Laughs nervously) That’s the end of my list of nonsense. <^x^>lll

So hence said — Who should be Santa this year? <.___.>{?]

Or do you have someone else in mind? (Laughs)

Make your choice~ \<`ε´>/~♥!