Sheep is Sorry for Being Rude
October 7, 2008 5:35 pm Ms Aya's Papers
Mood - Disappointed with self
7th October 2K8, Tuesday – 4:34+pm.
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Just now in the cab, the taxi driver asked me, “Where are your friends?”.
I didn’t answer at first until he asked me again. After debating with myself whether to answer, I shook my head and said, “They’re not here”. I was about to say that I don’t have any friends here but — who will believe that? (Laughs)
Besides, it will kill the conversation. <_ _>lll
“You’re alone?”, he continued.
“Sort of…”, I smiled.
“That’s lonely…”, he muttered.
He asked where I come from and I told him that I live around here. After that, there was an awkward silence between us and I could tell that he didn’t want to prod me with personal questions.
Indeed, I lived here for 2 years+ and I don’t have any companions to hang out with. Why is that so? Well, we’ll get to that part later. <-___->
As I was saying, he dropped me off at my destination and I hung around the shopping complex for a while.
Just when I was exiting the complex, I saw a group of familiar people ahead of me. I looked closely and immediately recognized them.
“Uh-oh… Students from the English centre”, I gulped. <O_O>lll
One of them spotted me and alarmed the rest. <≥.≤>
Panicking, I quickly walked pass them with a slight smile on my face, hoping that I was invisible. I wasn’t worried about getting caught because by far, nobody has ever stopped me from walking away. <- ->
However…
Just when I was about to get to the cab, one of the student stopped me. <_ _>lll
He asked if I remembered him and how am I. I definitely remember him because he was my student and — he’s a Japanese. <^x^>/
Anyway, there was a long pause before I answered.
The next thing I know, I was in the cab — leaving the premises.
Did I say good bye after he said “Take care?”.
Did I even wish him well before I left?
… <u_u>
Sadly, no… I did not.
That’s why I’m so mad at myself right now that I’m thinking of eating a tub of beans to my death.
It’s not that I didn’t like him and wanted to be rid of him. In fact, he is a nice and polite person whom I really want to get to know.
But stupid me who got controlled by fear started to panic and as a result, I did not only create a bad image of myself but also made him look silly in front of the others.
I behaved like a fool and very unfriendly towards him although it wasn’t my intention. He and the students are probably developing a lousy impression of me as I’m typing this now. (Cries)
Baa… Perhaps the next time I see him, I shall apologize to him for being rude and unfriendly. That’s if — I don’t panic and run away again. <;__;>
Also, suppose a taxi driver ever ask me whether I’m alone or where are my friends, I’ll answer with honesty, “I’m too much of a shit load to deserve good friends”.
<u_u,> *Sniff*
With that said, you now understand that this is a shameful and stupid sheep writing to you.
Auwlithe & Ms.Aya
I have no idea since when I developed such fear in people and where did this shyness come from…
Already I have an irreversible ugliness in my appearances and characteristic is the only way I can make up for. GAH!!! \<`A´>/!!!
[ . . . ]
Sorry everyone, for being selfish and full of myself. m<_ _>m
I’ll shut up now. <T_T>
!! Flees off to eat a tub of beans !!
PS: Anyone here suffer the same shyness and fear?
kioko on 
Ms Aya on 
hyo-rin on 
Annie on 
ibuKA on 
[...] Ms.Aya wrote an interesting post today onSheep is Sorry for Being bRude/bHere’s a quick excerptPerhaps the next time I see him, I shall apologize to him for being brude/b and unfriendly. That’s if — I don’t panic and run away again. ;__;. Also, suppose a taxi driver ever ask me whether I’m alone or where are my friends, b…/b [...]
Maybe you are just shy at that time ? and kinda sort of panicked ?
Well , you might have a chance to cross paths next time huh ?
Sheep Needs MOAR CHARISMA !!! *Surges Sheep with super-duper-uber-ultra Charisma Saru Powar !!! *
I think next time u see him again … Try not to be panic and apologize to him … I bet he will forgive u no matter how polite or rude he is =)
Even I also shy to talk with girls, Sheep … I will like … hide for a while before going to meet *her* …
Even like 1st time go for tuition or my new work … i will also like … wait for a while in a corner … take a deep breath .. prepared … checked …GO !
coz I do panic … that why i hide to *prepare* =(
Well, I’m never shy and I can’t completly understand why some people just can’t interact naturally with other people.
You like the guy and bumping into him all of a sudden was certainly a drag, you panicked and forgot your manners… that’s all right, we all make mistakes.
You might be afraid of getting hurted in a relationship, that’s why you leave people outside your bubble. I won’t tell you you won’t get hurted, in fact you will, but you will also have fun, you will live many wonderful experiences, and what’s a painless life worth of??, sterile life, boring life, if you don’t suffer life’s bitterness you’ll never be able to enjoy the sweetness. I say let people in!, good people, bad people, they will make your spirit strong and give shape to your personality in one way or another.
If you ever bump into that guy again do apologize and gift him with your best smile, you’ll feel a whole lot better and who knows?, he might as well be a good shepherd for you^^.
Thanks for the support. I managed to apologize to him but that was it and nothing more.
I ran away after I said my apologies. (Laughs)
Dear Rocket-hun
(Cries)
I know that I’m not trying hard enough then again — Nupo~! (Cries)
Baa.. Rocket-hun is not a shy person?
*Salutes* What you say there is right and I agree yet I just can’t bring myself to overcome this obstacle.
I think I’m wasting everybody’s time. Hence I hereby forbid myself from writing such a stupid and personal entry~!
!! everyone rejoices !!
(Laughs)
As you wish Ayacchi, but I would really appreciate if you would also forbid yourself from being such a pessimist little sheep. It won’t harm you to make an extra effort, but it’s only you who can take that step. Anyway, good luck!^^.
I’m well aware we are all human beings, and we all have the same urges and needs, that’s why I’m never shy, even though I’m sure some think I’m a shameless piece of shit ha ha ha.
You wanted this song right??.
http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/8/4/2034729/03_Psychosocial.mp3
It’s a direct URL to the file so you can download it as you would do it in my blog. Have a nice one^^!
Ms Aya, I think I’m kind of same with you… But what I will do is not run away but stay quiet, talk only when necessary and make sure my replies are as short as possible, for eg “I see”, “Oh” and “Good then”. And yes that’s also very rude XD
Well, I’m still working hard 2 overcome it… By forcing myself to interact more with the others ^-^
Dear Rocketd-hun
Thank you.. (;__; )
“even though I’m sure some think I’m a shameless piece of shit ha ha ha.”
Rubbish. A guy should never be shy otherwise, he has no balls.
Therefore, you’re just being a genuine man with guts. (Laughs)
A guy has to be ahead of the girl and yet be modest, right?
Dear SJ
*Hands SJ a medal of bravery*
You are 2 steps ahead of sheep. (Laughs)
From Friendster, I see that you’re a cool person. But since we’re sort of same in a way — Let’s learn more from each other! \(^v^)/
By the way, how do you ‘force’ yourself to interact more with others? (.__.)
Hi Mademoiselle Aya !
It surprise me to see that you’re saying a shy person ! I found you very reliable !
I used to be shy — yeah, I had no balls ! (Laughs) — so I can understand shy people’s reasoning and how hard it can be sometimes. I’m not waiting anything from others, not even my friend, so when I feel like I have something to say to someone, I say it.
Don’t be too hard with yourself, people would understand what is best to say to you, if you can’t answer correctly, they may not have said the right thing (nor it wasn’t the right moment).
It’s a diary, feelings are for the diaries so you’re not wasting anybody’s time, don’t worry, we’ll cheer you ! (Cheers !)
Quote : Already I have an irreversible ugliness in my appearances and characteristic is the only way I can make up for. GAH!!! \/!!!
Perhaps that I don’t really understand the sentence, but you are cute, a lot of cuteness !
Oh, one more thing, when I began to read your message, I thought it was a news you wrote (a novel), you’re good at writing ! (Cheers again !)
Dear Mr. Circle
Welcome back~ *Waves*
Thanks for the encouragement. (;__; ) *sniff*
Like what Saru-chan told me, I just need an attitude improvement.
Quote: Oh, one more thing, when I began to read your message, I thought it was a news you wrote (a novel), you’re good at writing ! (Cheers again !)
O really?
Now all I have to do is find a way to make a living out of this skill!
!! Cries !!
I’m glad to have started blogging again!
PS: You were invisible in school, but not here! (Laughs)
Are you a writer ? — I hope this word is not used for a kind of furniture ! (Laughs)
Well, if you plan to sell your skill someday, I’ll be a customer for sure !
Quote : PS: You were invisible in school, but not here! (Laughs)
Sure of this ? If I’m taking a nap on my desk, could you guess it ? (Bleh~ !)
Hey again Aya-san,
I really like your blog posts. I usually don’t read people’s blogs much because most are boring. But I was surprised when I caught myself reading yours for several minutes.
Yes, I think Pixy is right. You are a great writer and draw the reader in. Great skill for writing novels.
OK, back to the topic of your post…
Would you be surprised if I confessed that I used to be very shy myself too?
When I was reading your post, I felt as I was reading my own thoughts a few years ago – when I was going to high school.
It’s a funny long story that how super-shy I was at that time… and how it changed so much that it’s totally opposite now.
Honestly, I used to be so shy that if I liked someone (especially a guy), I couldn’t talk to him or look at him properly. So he would think I hated him, while it was 100% opposite!
So I understand how lonely world can get when we are a shy person.
Then I decided it was just NOT fun to be so shy and so I decided to change myself… and I did. It took a year to do it fully, but it was *well* worth it.
So now if I like someone and want to get to know him/her more, I’d be so confident that usually it’s the other person who feels more shy. (Laughs)
Enough about me.
The point is…
1. Life is definitely more fun when we open up and feel comfortable around people… (don’t you agree?
)
2. Even the most shy people CAN become super-confident. I happen to be the living case study of this.
So how can we do it?
–> Practice! Next time when we feel shy approaching someone or talking with him, just do it!
You know it’s a fact: If we keep doing what we fear, the fear will soon give up and disappear forever!
What can possibly happen in the worst case? Trust me, nothing! Everything we say – even if silly – would be better than running away and making the person feel we didn’t like him.
So good luck, and looking forward to hearing your next adventures!
Ms. Ladan \(*.*)/
Dear Mr.Circle
I’m not exactly a writer. (Gee, what am I doing?)
Thanks for your support. (_ _)
Quote: Sure of this ? If I’m taking a nap on my desk, could you guess it ? (Bleh~ !)
Good point… Maybe every now and then I’ll just accuse you of sleeping in front of the computer~!
*just like what I did to Pixy some time ago*
(Laughs)
Dear Ms. Ladan
Nupo! Please don’t let my brother know about this~! (Cries)
\(;___; )/
Oh well, I’m honoured that the Great Ms.Ladan is reading my blog post.
Though I feel a bit naked. (Laughs)
Ho-ho-ho.. Ms.Ladan was a very shy girl? That’s new.
You are so confident as you are right now no one would have thought you were shy.
But since Ms.Ladan is a living proof that all it takes to beat shyness is to take action and buck up — I guess I can’t come up with any other excuses not to overcome this..
(Cries)
Thanks for your tips and time. (^-^)b
Hey Mademoiselle Aya again~ !
Even if I’m not sleeping that much, my cat sure does, you can guess with a very slight percentage of mistake that he IS sleeping in front of the computer ! (Tickle the cat and laugh)
Hey, anyway, when you’ll be more confident, take your time, don’t become over-confident and break every rules or you’ll become an overboosted sheep ! (Laughs)
Cats are ALWAYS sleeping. I hardly see one ever awake. (Laughs) Won’t your cat get upset if you disturb his sleep? (.__.)
Don’t worry. I’ll not let my head grow so big and become an over boosted sheep~!
Sheep is far cuter than a bitch, right? (Laughs)
Nah, they’re not upset, they enjoy playing with me, and bother me ! Actually, they are the one which disturb my sleep ! >O< (Yawns)
Yep, sheep is far far cuter, and soft ! But a bit numb, nah ? (Laughs)
Long time no see again Aya-chan. Sorry to drop in so late again, but looks like you’ve got more readers than ever so guess you didnt even notice. LOLs
As for what you wrote, I say no worries. Stuff like that happens, some times you’re just not in the mood to talk to people no matter what. Sure, I guess confidence and charisma plays a role in the matter but its not like its a problem that cannot be fixed.
The next time you see those kids just put on a big smile and say “Hi”, I bet they’ll be more than willing to talk to you and hang out together.
~Later
Dear Mr. Circle
Indeed.. Sheep is numb and has a cold heart. (Laughs)
Won’t argue with you there.
Dear Kou-san
Okaeri~!
Well… No matter how many new readers join in, sheep will never forget Kou-san who has been supporting since the old blog days! (Rejoices!)
I think people are afraid of sheep because sheep tends to behave obliquely… I don’t know.. (Cries)